I never knew it was possible to grace pathways in real-time life with an old spirit you think you have outgrown. Who knew that a time like this would come. A time where you are reminded of the things you experienced in your past and you could feel the heaviness of your spirit during those times? How is it possible for the old you to resurface, stare you in the face, and challenge the spirit you have become?
The child in me gracing the adult in me
The old me VS the now me
The now me growing into the me I’m destined to be.
All of these different versions of me talking, bickering back and forth in my sub-conscience, poking at my spirit, pushing for me to be who they want me to be. Pieces of Me that have been influenced by others that I have crossed paths with.
I use to think that if I held hands with all of them then we all could enjoy life as a unit. You know, collectively.
This moment in life, I have learned and I’m still learning that there are parts of ourselves that we must leave behind. There are parts of ourselves that we must hold onto, the parts that make us thrive with life, joy, and wisdom. There are parts of ourselves that we must learn from, and there are parts of ourselves that no matter what we must grow from. In order to heal you must face the illness that plagues you, in order to heal you must also face you… In life we tend to look for others to speak to us and heal us, we look for others to have the answer to all of our problems. But the main source that we must speak to is self. We have to tend to self because only self knows the type of illness or ailment that we are experiencing. Going through a spiritual transformation is like moments of your life flashing before your eyes. There are things that someone will say that will trigger a memory of a moment in your life. Rather it is good or bad determines the way you choose to react and respond, it determines your growth.
I realized that I was the person that I feared and hated the most, I was my abuser, and misuser. I was the person I ran from to save my life and my children’s lives. At times in our lives when we share so much of ourselves with others we can allow our spirits to transfer. We can unknowingly allow another person’s energy and spirits to take over our own and be the driving force in our lives. The red flags that we may notice in life after we have physically loosened ourselves from the negativity can appear to be something that we have faced before, someone who we have faced before.
I can honestly tell you that you will learn from your past only if you truly want to, otherwise YES! you will consistently face the same things and problems until you have learned your lesson and crossed that bridge in life. Not every person is the lesson from your past, the lesson you must face over and over again and again. Not every negativity is the same experience and it should more than likely never be related to your past, because the past is something we have already moved on from.
Knowing and unknowing you are not the person in the past and the person you are standing before is not the person of your past. Treat both of them different but love them both in the ways they need, want, and deserve to be loved, the way you would have wanted to in your past because remember they are not your past.