I was presentation ready, excited and nervous focusing on doing my best. Thinking about all the possible mistakes that could happen the things I could say and do wrong. When we are in a position to be our best and show our best we somehow think about the worst things that could happen in the future. Not at the present given moment or the past. It’s almost like human nature or I really should say a taught human behavour, to plan for the best but prepare for the worse. We forget that what we did previously will have an effect on what happens in our future until it is presented to us or we are made aware of things by some form, act, or “Presentation”.
Dressed and ready to go my teenage daughters and I wrapped our hair up and dressed to the occasion, it was all to familiar to be Islamically grounded because this was a life and tradition we once walked on a daily basis. Not to say that we lost touch with the practice but the practice lost touch with us. Our heart, mind, and soul still believes and loves but our way of life and society begs to differ. That’s an additional story … as we rode down the street from our home, my oldest, Layla shared with me a cookie that she had taken from the pantry on the way out the door. My spirit danced with excitement because I was about to do my first speech as an adult advocating #Self-Love through my blog writing and social media pages. I was invited to speak and be a sounding, encouraging voice, a breath of inspiration to a girl scout group of 9, 9-year-olds. I bit the cookie and I slowed to proceed over the speed hill (because it is just that big of a speed bump), and I realized that my cookie was in the shape of heart.
Rounded at the bottom with a small indentation at the top in the middle and of course the bite of the cookie monster who held it, Me! I was taken aback and also wanted a picture to share the love coming from me and the cookie. I took it as a sign that all would be well and happily okay. I wore green that day because first it blended so well with the logo of #FindingMe, and secondly it is a representation of the heart chakra. They say the colors you choose to wear express the way you feel that day. I felt love and happiness bubbling over inside of me. We laughed and we talked about many things along the ride I enjoyed the moment. My daughters always have this magical way of making me laugh and bring out the smiles and lighten the burdens that no one knows I carry. It makes me feel good to know that I have instilled so much happiness inside of them. I did find myself mentally escaping the conversations we had, thinking about what I should say, how I should start, will the little girls like me, will they understand me, will I be able to pull this off!? UGHHHHHH, I was getting frustrated and nervous because I didn’t get to prepare, ALL primarily my fault. I had enough time, but I wasn’t sure it would all fall through. SO I PROCRASTINATED…. leaving myself no option but to work from my spirit, something I often do my best at. I found a website on how to speak about blogs and how to write a blog effectively, still not realizing that I actually write blogs and once wrote blogs daily.
The moment arrived and believe it or not I was lost for words. I’m use to an introduction, you know a common greeting to take away the anxiety and settle the nervousness, Wa alaikum Salaam my name is Shantay/Sincere Heart I will be your speaker for today, that didn’t happen and we were pressed for time. Having all the adults just getting off of work time was not on our side at all. So I jumped right in with 9 little sets of eyes staring at me ready to soak up as much information as possible, some hesitant about what was taking place, others ready to speak and let their voices, imagination, and spirits be heard. I basically stated that blogs are expressions of the self. and as I was continuing to speak I merely asked the question, “What is a blog?” Thinking the young ladies would let me continue to speak about and to tell them what blogs are, and out of no where hands and arms were stretched high above their heads. Fingers wiggled and hands swayed to and fro in an essence of, “Pick me, Pick ME!” I followed the flow of the young ladies and begin letting them tell me what is their perspective of blogs.
- “A blog is an online journal of writings and stories.”
- “A blog is a place to put all of your stories and writings for the world to read.”
- “A blog is a journal”
That was all it took to get the night flowing and growing. We talked about how writing inspires their feelings and expressions, how writing is a gateway to recall the events throughout the day, the different types and forums of blogging are not just limited to writing. You have many different ways of blog expressions don’t sale yourself short, be creative, BE YOU! We even talked about how having that support system is needed to continue the hobby, gift, or process of a goal in writing. I thought it was very amazing that a 9-year-old was writing an autobiography and she’s already finished with book one! I need to step my game up, I’ve been writing for years why am I still on chapters!? Some like mystery, supernatural, fiction and non-fiction, some liked short stories. Some even liked just simple journaling first thing in the morning. The moment I was waiting for (besides starting the presentation) had arrived.
It was gifting time…. As a token of my appreciation and my own personal tradition I brang a gift to the hostess and now my audience. Pretty bags with their own personal journal, pen, and stickers for moments of troubled expressions. My daughters helped me pass out the gifts and more excitement spread… OOOOOOHHHHHH I love this it’s so cute!!!!
“Okay so today right here and right now you get to make your first entry in your journal.” Write about how you feel about blogging….. GO!
It got silent and you could hear thinking and writing happening, the fidgeting in their seats to get their thoughts down on paper. The hostess says finish writing so she can review what you’ve written… In a hurry to finish first they scrambled to get in line. I was amazed by the writings, these young ladies had imagination and structure, they had vision to see into their writings. They used detail and expression, they painted mysterious pictures through their writings, informative and engaging. I couldn’t have been more proud to be present in that moment. What took me by surprise even more was they wanted me to sign their journals and write down my blog site, one even asked for an additional quote (I hand-made some quotes for them to keep). I didn’t prepare for the part of actually signing my autograph, I wasn’t sure how I should write it. Now I will admit I had practiced many times before just to be prepared for the moment when it happened, but astonishment and happiness completely took over me. I managed to smile and give them what they asked for.
Now with all the information and energy being transferred into that moment, I learned a lot from being there. Going back to the beginning of this blog, I mentioned how we tend to only think forward, forget about the past, and dismiss the present. Well in my beginning stages of blogging I never wanted to use profanity in my writings. To me I felt as though profanity limited my expression to anger. But then I too read a blog that someone else had written and it stated to use expressions and feelings. Write the way you talk, and with complete honesty I have the tendency to have toilet mouth. For some reason people seem to understand profanity better than intellect. I worried myself with this because as a mother I didn’t want my young children reading content with profanity and with careful thoughts and consideration I realized that these wonderful little souls whose lives I had just touched would be reading words of profanity.
I would be teaching them to do the same, use profanity in their writing.
So with all due respect and Sincere apologies from my Heart to yours, my writings will include emotion. My videos will include emotion but I will give more than my utmost attention to my vocabulary usage. You young ladies have inspired me to not only press forward with writing, but to also leave my path of footprints in the sand that I will not be ashamed if and when a child chooses to follow them on their road to success. Am I a bad person because of my choice of profanity? No ma’am I am not, is it a bad habit to have? ABSOLUTELY it is. I thank you for making me mindful, teaching me that being in the moment is more than just enjoyable it is inspiring and uplifting, and can be life changing if you allow the change to take it’s course. The most important lesson I learned that night is, “our previous choices and decisions in life can ripple future consequences and trigger an acceptance of acknowledgment. I am not my profanity and my profanity will not beat or be a part of me.
Thank you young ladies and enjoy your written expressions…. There’s always more to love of yourself and others if you look inside of self and accept the outside of yourself.
You never know who will watch you and look up to you in more ways than one, You never know how a young soul can transform you… You absolutely can teach an old dog new tricks… #Growth Happens When You Allow It To.
#Self-Love is the #Best-Love of #FindingMe
I want to give a special thank you to the hostess of the girl scout event that night. I will not include her name for the sake of privacy, but I appreciate this moment more than I can describe. I also want to give a special thank you to this wonderful lady for proposing this moment to me. I never would have learned this or had such an amazing experience if it wasn’t for our paths crossing.