Posted in #WOW Word Of the Week, Balance, BlackPower, Family, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Unity

Restart With A Mindful Yew/You

With the Solar Eclipse happening on Monday, we all now have the chance to start fresh, begin again. A second chance at whatever it is that we were once wishing, praying for a do over on. The solar eclipse is and was a power button, the power button to life in all forms. Humans, animals, insects, reptiles, plants, and even water, let’s include the air because it bends, flows, and moves in ways that nothing and no one can.

In a long time, a very long 99 years the earth and those who live upon it have been in constant movement. Never truly giving ourselves a moment to just “be still” and look around. It’s so intriguing how when we don’t follow the rules of self nature has a way of making us move the way self was guiding us to begin with. Sunday in Midwest region it stormed, and it stormed bad. For some it was awful, for others like myself it was so damn refreshing. It was like the earth (or at least those of us in the path of the eclipse) were getting a release cleansing right along with the very planet we occupied.

You have to be clean in order to get dirty again. You have to empty in order to fill up otherwise you’re just overflowing (that isn’t always a bad thing but in this very instance we will say it is). In order to start again you must first of course, STOP….

Thank you Solar Eclipse…. Thank you Moon and Sun for coming together to bring humanity together. Thank you universe for being the leader in all that we aspire to be and do with you, our loved ones, and our time here.

We stopped to oooo and aahhhhh, we stopped to stare in amazement because it was something we have never witnessed before. We stopped to take pictures (it makes a statement that says, “Hey I was there when this happened). We stopped to bask in the rays of the sun that beamed from behind the moon itself. We stopped to see the ring and the diamond ring that appeared just as the moon/sun begin to shift it’s way back into rotation.

We started again, and some weren’t so sure that the moon and the sun continued on it’s journey so they continued to “be still”.

When the sun begin to shine bright as it normally does, the scenery changed. At least for me it did. I saw things not just with my eye sight but with my mind’s eye and within my spirit. Scarface’s song played in my subconscious “My Angel” I remembered the lyrics, the grass looked greener and the sun brighter”. Restarting my dreams the way they should have been in the first place. Restarting my confidence and belief in myself that not only can I make it in this world. But that “I will make it in this world!”

I paused for a moment because I had to realize that every wish, dream, and manifestation that I was creating at that very moment wasn’t just about me. It was about many others around me and those around me that I don’t even know exist.

Recently I published my website, I was beyond excited. I had viewers from Albequrque New Mexico and London, ON. That was an experience I never imagined happening, so I was in shock and self praising…. I DID IT Dammit! People on the other side of the world looked at me and what I represent. They looked at what I have and what I am giving to the people of this world and what I am giving to the universe. I thought about how whatever i say and do going forward has way much more weight and value to the ears, minds, souls, and spirits it is landing on. I thought about my choices affect other’s choices because now more than ever people around the world are watching me. I thought about how my reactions and responses have more energy behind them than they recently did within my small radius of boundaries. I thought about how accepting acknowledging, and being “Okay” with the consequences of my choices and decisions weigh on others.

If, no scratch that….Since I am a leader, the leader of #SelfLove and #SelfHappiness. The leader of #FindingMe. What better way to show my growth than y teaching what has been revealed to me.

  • When you don’t include yourself it’s difficult for you to include others into what you want to do and are choosing to do.
  • When you put others before you, you’re helping them erase your existence, your needs, and wants.


How sway right?

How can you be fulfilling to someone else if you have not fulfilled yourself first? If you constantly are putting others ahead of you then you will never know what it is that you need, want, like, love, etc.


  • Being Mindful of yew(that long living tree)/you keeps you in the know of what you need for yourself in order for you to help yourself so you can help others.

Root healing


When you are aware of what you need and want within self you are better able to cater to your needs and wants. That gives you the space to better assist and be a support to others.

  • Be aware that when you are doing and caring for yourself that you are also doing for others.

When we love and take care of ourselves we are also unknowingly taking care of others. When we’re happy our loved ones are happy when something goes wrong within our being something is troubled in our loved ones being. So whatever you put in is also pushed out and that alone either takes care of others or neglects others. it’s your option to either love yourself mindfully or be selfish with your self-love and self-happiness that you push out greatness or negativity.


  •  Accept that the choices you make don’t just affect you. They affect others also because how you choose to respond and react causes a response and reaction in and out of others.


When we choose, respond, act, and react without being mindful. We forget that what we unknowingly and knowingly choose to do causes a ripple effect in others. Primarily those around us. So be sure that the choice you decide to go with isn’t what you think to be about yourself.

How will you Restart With A Mindfuil Yew/You?


Posted in #WOW Word Of the Week, Balance, BlackPower, Family, Inner Child, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Post A Day, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Unity

Difficult Self(Root)-Healing?

Our memories,

Our memories are tied to our feelings at the time of the event. If we were in a place that made us feel afraid then whatever happened at that place is tied to fear. If we were happy during the moment then we relate the memory to happiness. If we experienced a traumatizing moment then our memories are tied to specific things that we focused on in that time of being traumatized.


  1. Pull up those roots
  2. detox; cleanse your wound
  3. Nurture; tend to your wounds and spirit.
  4. Set up boundaries

Bonus: Find your growth from the pain. Do not allow it to be the reason you don’t live your life with inner peace, self happiness, and self love. 

We are going to get more than just mental, spiritual, and emotional, let’s include some physical work with this. Think of yourself as a plant, flower, or something that grows with tender love and care. What does your spirit resonate with well? What speaks to you and syncs with your being?

Find your roots of pain and imagine yourself ripping them out of yourself! Don’t be afraid of the pain you’re already experiencing it. You’ve been experiencing it, and you’ve been holding onto it for how long!? It isn’t an easy task to identify the pain within us at times, because it isn’t like we always know the pain exists. When you find it no matter what the case may be rip those roots of hurt, anger, and pan out of you. Create the space for the wound to do what it will naturally do best. HEAL

Detox, cleanse, purge I mean literally let go of the things that plague your mind, body, soul, and spirit. At some point you have a choice to accept that your pain will only stay there because of you not letting go of it. Darkness can only be present when your light refuses to shine. When you refuse to shine. Do not put anything or anyone in this space that you have opened up. You need to allow yourself to be clear and cleansed of your dis-ease.

Nurture your wound(s) give yourself some me time. Love yourself the best way you are able to love yourself and the way you wish others would have loved you. The way you trusted, expected, and depended on them to love you. If you wished your parents loved you more love yourself in those ways. If you wish your siblings would have done more sibling bonding type of things. Then bond with yourself int hose ways and fashions. There are times when we begin our healing process that we aren’t capable of putting out that type of love for ourselves to ourselves. This is okay it comes with time, patients, and compassion. There are people out there that want to love us in the ways we want, need, and deserve to be loved. The way we wanted those other people to love us. These are the people we call our second moms and dads, our best friends that become like a sister/brother to us. These people will love you unconditionally, you just have to allow them to and you also have to allow yourself to love yourself unconditionally as well. do not abuse these people’s types of love either. It isn’t always easy to love others during a healing process. there are ups, downs, turn arounds, and so much more. Just be willing wot work on the relationship with each other and give each other the space and time needed to help your relationship grow.

Setting up boundaries are largely confused with having walls within us that keep people from ever entering into our realms. Walls are just that different, you have to tear them down, access windows, doors, and maybe even keys in order to get into the lives of those people who have these walls in their beings. Boundaries are different, they give the space necessary to see, respond, react, and more importantly trust yourself with allowing people to come closer. Imagine standing inside of a circle however big or small is completely up to you. However big or small determines a lot of what you will and will not tolerate. Once you have established these boundaries if it makes matters better write them down and hang them up in a place where you are reminded of your own boundaries and others see them to. It builds respect for self and others as well as them building more respect for you.

Grow through it and Grow OUT OF IT!!!! You are not your experiences and you are not your pain, it does not define you. That is not who you are meant to be, it was only meant for you to learn and grow from. 

Back to the item of growth be it plant, flower, food, or another thing that grows with your help. I want you to remember these things:

  • Some plants/flowers require more work to help them stay alive than others do. Some do not require much work at all. Once you resonate and sync yourself with this plant/flower/thing I want you to journal how it feels to cater to something so needy, tedious, or independent. Which one are you?
  • If you do not care for your plant/flower/thing you have allowed it to die. you have allowed your healing process to die as well.
  • congratulate yourself and be happy that you have at least began the process of healing. It isn’t an easy thing, it feels good, and the most important thing I want you to take from this is It takes time to get to the other side that you really want to be at. The finish line is there just focus on your progress of staying in the race.

I’m happy that you found a new place to plant the seeds of love and light inside of the dark spots of your mind, body, spirit, and soul.

You Can Heal

Live Tonight @ 8:08 p.m.


Posted in Balance, BlackLOVELives, BlackPower, Family, Inner Child, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Post A Day, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Strong Black Families, Unity

Fill Me Up Like The Moon

Dear Me, We, You…..

I was reading last night as I have been doing for the past week right before bed. I ran across this intriguing sentence that seemed to have turned on a light inside of my mind. Not that the light wasn’t on before, this was just a different light. A light of perspective and intuition. See this week I started reading before bed to help me unwind, remember I just admitted to not being able to sleep or shut off my brain. Well another reason I begin reading is because I have been having a horrendously major migraine that I just cannot seem to shake. It comes, it goes, its strong, its delicate, and it has held it’s persistency since the beginning. Usually a good nap, some great food, hot shower, something is able to relieve me of my pain and the annoyance of the pain. To my avail nothing and I do mean nothing was sufficient enough to aid me or comfort and console the plaguing migraine. Reading has become a distraction to help me at least fall asleep and calm my mind. Nonetheless that isn’t the aim of this bedtime journal entry.

Back to the thing, the thing that turned on the light in my head….

The sentence….“The last kernel in the bottom of the can.” I had begun to feel like the last kernel in the popcorn can. The light inside of my mind, helped me to realize that I have more than just a tendency to empty myself out prior to every Full Moon. I empty myself out and prepare to be filled back up to the maximum amount I am capable of filling myself up to. It has almost become a part of my 28 day cycle. A form of detoxing and or purging. A way to burn out and recharge. On a daily basis I Am giving and receiving, nurturing and watering, strengthening myself as I grow. I Am pouring myself out to be of service to self and others, so that I may be filled up again to continue my purpose.

If I never allow myself to truly empty out all of the things that actually do have the power to plague my spirit. Then I Am never really growing into what was written for me to be. With every plant that lives and every breath that breathes we must first utilize and consume the nutrients given and provided to us before we need, want, and receive more.

With all that is in this world and the people of this world need to grow from and let go of I will the power of the Super Strawberry Full Moon to supply the strength necessary within ones self/itself. To dive deep inside of self and pull up the weeds that are destroying and killing the gardens of #SelfLove & #SelfHappiness

Fill me up like the moon, Fill me up like the moon, Fill me up like the moon;

Let my heart be happy soon, Let my heart be happy soon, Let my heart be happy soon

Pour out to be filled, Pour out to be filled Pour out to be filled. 

Let the soul cry so the spirit can heal, Let the soul cry so the spirit can heal, Let the soul cry so the spirit can heal. 

3 times 3 times 3 times 3 

I will it so, so will it BE 

Place the power of Love In Light Inside of Thee

I Did It..

I filled up like the moon

Posted in Balance, BlackLOVELives, BlackPower, Family, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Strong Black Families, Unity


So earlier this week I was challenged to do a video about manifestation.
What is manifestation, how does manifestation work, how do I know if I am doing it right?
So many questions ran through my mind about reaching my perspective audience and viewers. I wanted so badly to make sure I answered foreseen questions so people would at least give it a shot. Test your manifestation skills. I procrastinated a lot because normally I do NOT write out what I will say I like to let my intuition and wisdom guide me in the right direction. So finally after a few days of whirlwinds in life that we all have, and finally choosing to set a tone and date and time. I laid back in my car during my lunch break and did a rough draft video, something I could listen to go back change and work from there. I was combating with a migraine that started brewing at the beginning of this week and it finally hit me hard enough to make me STOP, to make everything stop and for me to just rest and recharge. Planning to get this video done was at a stand still and it gave me a sigh of relief because for a moment I started to feel unsure of myself. Last night was round two of relaxing and getting my being back together, as soon as I snuggled into my comfort zone I quickly remembered that my deadline for the Manifestation video was the 8th! It’s something about the infinite sign that pushes me in ways I don’t want to be pushed. Still feeling a mess among looking a mess I gathered myself and did another 3 video before actually going with my final one. now the kicker to this story is I order a notebook and pen with my logo on it last week and was overtly anxious to receive it. I just had to feel it and see it in person, hold it in my hand. Well I received it and held it in my hand, looked at it with my own two eyes and was happy with what I designed. I didn’t know what this notebook would be used for but I knew it was meant to be a part of #FindingMe. I promised Dr. Sonia that I would write it out and push the necessary and needed energy behind it. My husband told me to wait and do it today, on Friday, Full Moon day. He felt that me being underneath my spirit would transfer into the video and it wouldn’t come out as best as I would like it to. Stubborn me pushing forward I tightened myself up and grabbed that brand new #FindingMe notebook and pen and to work I went. Writing and creating, Manifesting what this video became.
As I read the words on the page and felt the energy behind what I wrote I begin to brew and cook up more than just some manifestation. I begin speaking things and seeing things. I begin calling others to not just dream and wish for their futures because dreaming and wishing is the best way to describe what manifesting is to someone new. I coached others into actually “seeing” their future. Not with their human, body’s eyes, but with their minds eye…..
Manifesting is like prayer:
  • you dream 
  • You’re inspired
  • You ask
  • You receive 

Here are my 4 steps to manifesting

  1.  Know what you want and the type of person you want. 
  2. Make/create the room for it/them to come to you. 
  3. Believe once you have asked. 
  4. DO NOT, I repeat do not feel negative, speak negative, speak against what you have put into manifestation. DO NOT doubt it. 

Bonus: Have the confidence and respect of self in knowing it’s yours, that it belongs to you and you are worthy and more than capable. Otherwise everything you have created will either vanish into thin air as if it were never there to begin with. Or it takes a detour and makes it longer to come to you. 

Then you are left to start over literally 

I never wrote that down.
See with your minds eye (3rd eye) what your future beholds.
You are manifestation
Posted in BlackLOVELives, LOVE, Mental Health, OneLove, Positive Thinking, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Strong Black Families, Unity

Energy & Intuition

Choices how do you know you’re making the right one for the long haul? Using you’re heart is not always wise. It’s meant 4 emotions not decisions. However your brain feeds off the emotions from your heart???!!!!
This was a post I made about 6 years ago….
I was so confused with myself and life once again. I didn’t know whether to listen to my head, my heart, other people, the books that I had read or what. With time I realized that it isn’t about who we talk to and learn from. It isn’t about what we do. But what it is about is learning to trust you. Learning to trust your instincts. Learning to lean on yourself. Yes I know the bible says lean not on your own understanding. But it also says to look “WITHIN” and that’s a contradicting lesson to teach anyone.
  • So who are you learning from & leaning on?
  • Who are you trusting and listening to when you are instructed to lean not on your own understanding but look within?
Self. You are learning, leaning, listening to, and trusting the God/Goddess within yourself. because WE all are created in his image.
Since we are made within his image:
  • How much of a trouble is it to seek “I AM” inside of self?
  • How much of a trouble is it to lean on self.
  • How much of a struggle is it to trust in self?
  • How hard is it to learn from self?
  • How hard is it to listen to yourself?
  • How hard is it to Love Yourself?
For women it is our intuition we must follow. It is in the darkness that our light shines so bright to guide us through life.
For men it is their energy they must follow. It is through the vibration of energy that a man moves through life.
It is the unity of the estrogen and testosterone in the human being DNA that makes life smooth for ones self. It is a man & woman’s synchronicity & harmony of their spirits that life becomes balanced. It is following your heart for the right thing to do but using your mind for the wise thing to do.
Posted in Balance, Inner Child, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Post A Day, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Unity


“You gone keep fucking around and make me kill somebody.”

Those were the words that I needed to hear in order to choose a better life, in order to save lives. Lives like mine, my children, and whoever else that could or would possibly get caught in the line of fire. That night I slept with my guardian angel statue by my bedside. She was a gift from my baby sister, a form of spiritual protection and physical protection. One of her wings was broken, she was heavy and could be what I needed for survival if necessary, she was my choice of a weapon. I found it hard to sleep and could only wait for the time he left to go to work. That was the time I napped and planned my escape. I was a stay at home mother because I had lost my job by failing a drug test. I dropped dirty with marijuana in my system because I was told and forced to smoke with him even when I didn’t want to. It was the way we got along and the way we spent our time together after work, before work, and in general, it was the only love language we spoke with each other. I referred to it as , “our common ground.”

I viewed myself as eye catching because I Am beautiful on the outside. The trouble was I had deep rooted, ugly scars and wounds on the inside. They showed; not to all but to those who know what pain and lack of #SelfLove looks like. I wasn’t a mean or negative person unless I had to be and I chose to be. More than not I chose to be ugly by acting ugly, looking for love in all the wrong places with all the wrong faces and cases. As I’m writing I slightly chuckle because these are the times in our lives when we “think” we love ourselves. No one can tell us otherwise, and we are PRIDEFUL of who we are, what we do, how we act and it shows. It shows that being ugly to the bone has the potential to be real in our lifetime. Back then I was the type of person that pointed the finger at him, *yeah, my ex-husband*. He was the blame for me acting ugly. He was the blame for me not wanting to do right and choosing to do wrong when I wanted to do right. I could admit that I wasn’t the stand-up woman and that I did things out of spite, however my reasoning for doing things out of spite was because he did it…. He did it first, and he did it to me first, I didn’t purposely hurt him and choose to do wrong unless he did it to me. I purposely chose to do wrong when I got tired of begging and pleading to him that what he was doing hurt us, hurt me and it was hurt in general.

I had a conversation with him and things I could never understand the answers to, gave me reasons for my whys and how comes…I saw that even with all that he did to me and all that I allowed him to do to me was only pushing me to LOVE me. It was pushing me to be more than just in tune with self, it pushed me to be me. It pushed me to fight for myself because no one else would and even when they did, I stopped them. I stopped them from protecting me, loving me, and showing me, that not everyone in this world was out to hurt Shantay. It just felt that way because that was the only way I knew how to feel, it was the only way I had ever felt … people, the ones I loved the most hurt me, I hurt me. After running from self and the pain that others did inflict on me, the pain I allowed to happen over and over continuously to me. I gathered myself and I started taking ownership for the things I was doing wrong to myself. For a while I didn’t care that others hurt me because what was more important to me is Shantay. What is Shantay doing to allow this, to influence and encourage the things that were happening to Shantay? I didn’t find many answers as to what I was doing but I found many reasons to not do what I was currently doing and what I had done before.

I found “Beautiful” reasons to love me the way I wanted others to love me when I didn’t love me. 

I found “Beautiful” reasons to know I Am just as beautiful inside as I was outside. 

I found “Beautiful” reasons to take a different approach on myself with myself for myself, 

I Found “Beauty Inside of Me….

Beautiful in many ugly ways. Beautiful through my hurt, through my pain. Beautiful within my anger, within my storm. Beautiful By Just Being Me, Loving Me. 

I share this with you to give you the mindset of facing what you inflict onto and into yourself. To help you see that it isn’t always someone else you need to blame or someone else that you should blame. Sometimes and most times it is YOU, ourselves, it is WE, us who makes the choice to allow that misery loves company inside our souls. Once you pick apart that demon, the demon you think is in someone else you will see that it is you.

It is you that opens your own gates to hell, unlock the cuffs and release yourself from your own pain. Walk ahead of your strength and allow it to follow it in your shadows, remember leaders can lead without standing on the front lines…


I Found My Beauty, I Found ME

Posted in Balance, BlackPower, Family, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Post A Day, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Strong Black Families, Unity

Which One Are YOU?

I woke up this morning with a lot of thoughts about my dreams that were racing through my mind. One thought after another, they all begin to come and fade away. But something stuck, something resonated, I had to share it. I ignored it for a moment because just like most humans we doubt that what we say and do in this lifetime and in this world will have an affect/effect. So we choose to keep it to ourselves and remain silent. But this, it beckoned my soul to be released and set free.

See not to long ago we and by we I mean the #FindingMe Group were discussing how what we don’t like in others is something that resonates within self. It resonates within self if we look deep enough to see that game recognize game instead pointing the finger at the betrayer when the betrayer is self. Well out of me feeling less than effective I chose to start my day and as I begin to drive my children to their destinations being school I paused mentally for a moment and I asked them to do a challenge for me, for them, for us.

Just for the day, TODAY, 

I want you to perform a 3 step challenge today just to see how what we do attracts others of like minds. How we mirror each other, how we invite things and people along problems, situations and circumstances into our beings, our worlds, our lives, and our spirits.

Are you ready?
Step 1:
Act ratchet and obnoxious, see who and what comes your way and see who and what leaves your presence.
Step 2:
Act classy with poise, grace, mannerism, and etiquette. See who and what comes your way and who and what leaves your presence.
Step 3:
Which one do you prefer to be around, and behave like,which one is the way you prefer to be viewed. More importantly which one are you?

Once I get home and dinner is served, you know when we sit at the table as a family, no electronics, no television just people, family, food, and real conversation. We will discuss what happened and how it happened, what or how did they feel noticing that their actions contribute to their learning and trials of life. So many times I see and hear adults, grown adults complaining about what isn’t right and what is wrong. Pointing their finger at the other person, wondering, “where they went wrong?” For someone THEY loved and trusted to do them so bad. Not for one second thinking what happened on their end how did they contribute to the driving forces that push against their greater good.

All these things left to question without an answer because those are the answers we do not seek from self, only from someone else. 

What usually tends to happen is we behave and act certain ways and then when people come to us that act those very same ways, we look at them in disgrace and wonder what in the world made such a person come our way? WE did because that’s what and who we are and what/ who we are attracting into our lives. So when you get around people who don’t seem to fit the puzzle of life, YOUR LIFE, don’t freight, just re-address yourself and the atmosphere. Have you welcomed them or did they come to teach you a lesson of letting go, one of growth, one of self-change, one of acknowledgement, one of reflection? whatever it may be if you expect or want things and people around you to change and grow, then YOU TOO MUST CHANGE AND GROW.

Now don’t forget with change and growth that means you shed new skin and you travel onto different places and sometimes those people you want to change and grow with you may not be ready, they may not be willing, and they may not know exactly how to implement that into their lives.

Just don’t let their abilities of being stagnant settle inside of you, “Remember” WHO & WHAT YOU ARE, WHO & WHAT YOU WANT TO BE, WHO & WHAT YOU ARE DESTINED TO BE…. 

Which One of These Types Of People Are You?

I AM…..

Posted in Balance, Inner Child, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Post A Day, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Unity

Moments of Happiness From the Past

A series of Facebook posts over a number of days about a year ago. I was just beginning to put #FindingMe together, or I had already put it together. Either way it was around that time and I remembered how happy I was and how much happier I was determined to be and share with the world. Is there a such thing as being and or wanting to much happiness? Maybe it is in some cases and maybe it isn’t in other cases. To me an over abundant amount of happiness can make you feel as though the negative won’t happen or pretend as though it doesn’t happy.

Anyhow, I decided to copy these from my timeline as they popped up in my memories, I felt as though they can remind me of the place I was at up to the place I’m temporarily at now. It gives me the confidence and peace of mind I want to grow more into as the days go by.

“I can see more and more details of my dreams and how things will play out. I can make it through the storms no matter how difficult a storm has the potential to become.”

I shared these pieces then as I stated before because I wanted to share them with the world. Today I share them not only to share them with the world but to also take those like me by the hand and ask, “Are you coming?” If they say, “YES” and mean they are willing to work and grow to get there like I am, then I say, “COME ON, Lets go and let’s successfully grow together in SELF-LOVE, SELF-HAPPINESS, HEALTH, and WEALTH. To give those that I once stood there like a boost to get it moving, keep going and growing. 

Many people in this world feel as though they can do it all alone, I use to be one of those people. I worked hard night and day, day and night, scratching, striving, hustling and surviving. I was dead dog ass tired but I was successful in any and everything I put my mind and effort to. BUT I didn’t have that support that we all need and truly want. I didn’t have the person I loved the most to stand by my side and celebrate with me. I didn’t have the Joy, love or happiness that was supposed to be there through it all and at the end of breaking the ribbon at every finish line. This time around I can and will say, that it feels good to have those things, those people that I did lack before, it feels good to do things and accomplish them not just because you KNOW you can because you want to and you love doing it. Plant your feet firmly wherever it is that you are at the very moment you read this and pay attention to everything going on around you. The places, the people, the events, the weather, the fashion, I do mean everything. The way you feel, smell, touch, taste, see, hear, and think… Remember where you stood 1 year ago and maybe even include 5-10 years from now.

**Did you grow, did you change?**

*Are you still experiencing some of the same or similar situations?*

*Has anything in your life changed for the better?*

*Did you learn from the past and enjoy the present?*

*Are you ready for your own future?*

**Where you are now, is this where you want to be in the future, or do you want more?**

I want you to find yourself somewhere within the words on this page, admit what part of you don’t like and embrace it as though you would embrace it if it were the best parts of you that you so willingly share without hesitation. Because even the bad side of you needs love too, that’s why it craves the attention. Now don’t feed it the negativity that it so strongly craves, metaphorically speaking, spiritually advising: for every piece of choclate you want, eat a cashew or peanut…Let the real you unfold, accept embrace and heal before you point at someone else and expect them to love you better than you have loved yourself… Grow with WATER, LOVE, DARKNESS, and SUNLIGHT because sunlight , love, darkness, and water create a happy growing life out of all the storms. 


Remind yourself that people’s energies and emotions are contagious! Esp loved ones, you can always offer your help and support but don’t lose yourself in their emotions and energy. Sometimes you just have to leave them be and help from a distance or let them work it out on their own. I know it’s hard when it comes to your children and husband/wife but hey!, guess that’s what doors and couches and quiet walks and music is for. Find something else to do with others or yourself BEFORE you lose you in showing empathy for others. Otherwise ladies we will be slamming things around, lol stumping and making angry food (which he knows the difference of taste), and yelling at everybody. Men y’all will be leaving the house or indulging yourself with cheerful phone conversations (when you could be smiling with your Queen/family) or playing video games. The children will be confused, depressed, upset, and so much wondering WTH is going on.

Don’t go to sleep with negativity… It will follow you in your dreams and wake up with you in the morning.

Happiness…. Helping others does not mean losing yourself along the way… 💁😘

Loving yourself is so much more than admiring your appearance and being proud of who you are. Include getting to know who you’ve become due to past life experiences, be it good or bad. Know your body, mind, and soul and you’ll learn that granted you are who you are doesn’t mean that’s the person you should remain to be. To often we say if it wasn’t for my past I wouldn’t the person I am today. And that is most definitely true, but the person you are today, is that the person you truly were created to be? Or is it just the person you survived to become? Get to know the inside of you accept the struggles and the greatness. Manage those areas better and watch yourself blossom… That’s more self-love then admiring the outside of you!

Happiness… Smh my soul is shining and I want yours to also. 💡 this little of mine 😆 I’m gonna let it shine!

Sometimes in life you have to let go of everything in order to gain the best of the simplest things. This is a very hard thing to do, it’s painful and sometimes we just don’t want to let go because some things mean so much to us. Some people (even when they’re not good for us) mean even more to is. But pain is the first step to happiness, you have to endure in order to enjoy. Happiness can seem like the hardest thing to accomplish in life. But I can guarantee that it’s worth the struggle, the heartache, and the pain of letting go. Happiness isn’t about the gifts and material or money parts. It’s about understanding and accepting what’s best for you and “mind fully” managing others around you. And there will be times no matter how mindful you are sometimes it won’t happen and people won’t understand. And that’s okay accept it and move on life awaits you and happiness is there.
Happiness…. The best asset to life 🌞🌞

The only way out is to go through… Dealing with change is a challenge in itself. We feel like we are doing things for others instead self. It bothers me when we all say I understand, at some point you may understand. But your situation and another persons complication is different in every aspect. What works for you may not work for them. It’s advice to be considered and maybe even tried. Stay strong when things like this occur and don’t leave that person alone. It’s times like this that person needs someone to turn to. Change means getting rid of the old and bringing in the new. Change means being uncomfortable and stepping outside the box. Change means learning and accepting that things will get better in due time. You’ll feel like you’re losing yourself and that’s perfectly OKAY! Don’t give up it’s just learning and accepting that what you were is no longer you anymore. You have to face the person you were in your past to understand the person you are now and embrace the person you are growing and CHANGING to become.
As many walls you tear down you feel like there’s more being built…. It’s you rebuilding a better you for you!
Happiness… Only change from the inside can make you feel brand new in both areas.. Put yourself under construction and enjoy the new you! 😘😍😘😍

Posted in BlackLOVELives, BlackPower, Family, Inner Child, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Post A Day, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Strong Black Families, Unity

8=Infinity; 8=Balance

The greatest thing I have found to be beneficial about finding that balance within self and maintaining that balance within self is you give people the ability to choose which side of the scale they tip… Whether it’s the good side or the bad side, it’s up to the tipper.


Nine years ago I was growing through a major turning point in life as a mother and beginning the ending of an additional pain in my life as a now ex-wife. What I didn’t realize until just last night is something new was about to take place and be planted in the soil of my soul. I was about to meet the love of my life and I was also about to begin the journey of obtaining #Self-Love. I wasn’t aware that self-love had found me and nor was I aware that in a matter of months I would be meeting this amazing spirit.. the spirit that balances me and I balance him.

At a moments glance I would’ve never guessed it was him, the man I had parked next to at Wal-greens, the man I walked past in Wal-greens. But after we met, and we spoke, and we begin to build a friendship. I went to visit him one day and I noticed his car, it was the same car I had seen before, the same car at Wal-greens on that day. I was frozen in time,, we had the same car at Wal-greens and still the same car at that very moment. I of course stood there thinking, gazing, and wondering exactly what was happening before my very own eyes.

So I begin questioning him:

  • Is that your green Cadillac Catera?
  • How long have you lived here?
  • Do you remember a year or so ago parking next to me, us staring at each other without speaking?

****** I Remember You!!!*****

We traveled down memory lane and for a long time he vaguely remembered that small but powerful moment we shared, but it was powerful enough to make him wonder, to make him STAY and find out exactly what all am I ABOUT.

We remained friends and time passed by, I was getting my divorce moving and he was just living and enjoying some of life. Even though he was my friend I was always more than just attracted to him. He had the touch to calm and send my spirit high all at once. His kiss was caressing the cortisol within my brain, his voice… mmmm mmmm mmmm his voice would send chills all over my body. I just couldn’t understand how a man younger than me had so much power over me, over my mind, my body, my spirit…. HOW COULD THIS BE!? I was stronger than that and hell I even knew better than to let a man take control of ME, but him…. he was my weakness. We never hit a “home-run” and I was the reason for that, I’m laughing as I type because when the fire burned, it BURNED and I got the hell out of there immediately.

infinity balance

I didn’t run because I didn’t want to fuse with him, I ran because I knew once we did fuse together things we were not ready for would start happening. More importantly I knew I was not ready to give him the woman he needed, wanted, and rightfully deserved. I was selfish and spoiled when it came to men back then. What I wanted I got and there were no exceptions and or substitutes. To get into the purpose of this writing I wanted to share how even though we are so very much alike in the relationships we create, I wanted to share the vast differences as well. I wanted to share the vast differences make us balance, they make us whole, they make us complete within self and with one another.

When I think of balance in life I think about the good and the bad, and most times people are taught that the good will outweigh the bad. For a long time I was a firm believer of that and I did more than just my best to  see and practice it because that is what I was taught and I was determined to live by that rule. I mean who really “WANTS” to just see and live the bad and nothing else? After many successful attempts and more than many failed attempts I started to wonder if it was something I was doing wrong, did somebody curse me or put a hex on me? Then recently I started seeing the number “8”, I have always been attracted to the infinity symbol, but now I was almost drawn into the yin yang symbol.

What was so powerful about this symbol, why was I so attracted to it, and why did it seem to have so much of an impact or influence on my life at its current moment?

Balance Shantay is all I could hear, ground yourself and just live in the moment. Pay attention to what is going on around you and enjoy the good times, breathe through the bad times. I soon begin to see that the reason I couldn’t find the happiness in my storms of the past is because I was so focused on the bad that had been happening in front of me. I was taking the lessons and learning them, but I was also consuming the hurt, and anger, the sadness, the pain, and abandonment among many other lower vibrational feelings and emotions I had experienced. I was allowing the bad to overpower the good.

“A “true” spiritual person is able to find peace and solidarity in any situation, whether it is good or bad.”


What does spirituality have to do with balance?

Well when you think about it, the good and the bad, we start to decipher the good and the bad of our past moments in life. We start to weigh out the good and bad within ourselves, and that has the potential to affect spirit, your energy, your attitude, and what you are projecting onto others and into the world. Now some may beg to differ and that is perfectly okay with me. I’m speaking on my experiences and the experiences of others that I have met within this lifetime. I have come to learn that once self is centered and grounded then and only then are you capable of bending and swaying with the uncertainty of chaos and trials. Then and only then are you able to bend and sway with the growing pains that come with the relationships that you are building or have already built. In relationships there will always be the one that does something better the other one does, someone that can help you stand tall, strong and firm when you aren’t able to stand tall, strong, and firm within self. There should always be the other person who is able and capable of loving you when you cannot love you. Those are the things that balance relationships, being able to allow the other person to be the yin and you be the yang, you become the yang when they are only able to be the yin.

Life has it’s laws with balance as well, it’s the give and take of things with life and people. They say you should:

“Put out what you want to come back.” 

I say that’s true, just not for every case and every person. When it comes to the things you want to receive in life then yes, you must put out there what you want to come back. When it comes to relationships and love, do not put out the love you want in return because the truth is no one, and I really mean, ABSOLUTELY no one can or will love you in that manner because that is the love you seek to receive. That is your love language and you must not love people the way you want, need, and desire to be loved. To make it a little more understandable,

I’ll use myself as an example:

I’m the person that likes and loves being caressed, touched and held… the touchy feel type. So what usually happens with my husband is I touch him a lot because I like to be touched. It isn’t the way he loves it’s the way I want to be loved so in bad communication terms we tend to express our love for others the way we want them to love us… with our own love language… When you find yourself doing this the only advice I can give is to apologize, take a step back, and ask for those gestures to be given unto you. People will love you the way they know how until you communicate the way you need and want to be loved by them. Even then they may not be able to provide it the way you would like it, it does not meant they do not know how to love it just means that is the capacity they are capable of loving others at.

Center and ground yourself there’s a better chance to find the balance and keep the balance… 

Buzz Light Year… To infinity and beyond… 

Frozen Moments

Back to the beginning:

Being centered and grounded gives you the ability to let people choose the type of relationship they want to build with you. What I mean by that is, they can choose for it to be good or for it to be bad. Wondering how and why when you have the power to pursue or cut the relationship altogether?

Well let us look at things this way, we all have good and bad within us and we all the right and freedom to create boundaries for our own protection within relationships. The thing that just so happens to always seem to slip our mind is people have intentions and sometimes people just want to see how things play/pan out. This allows a person to test your boundaries, to push when you want to pull, to stay firm when you want to bend. It allows them to tip the scale, your scale when you’re balanced to the good or the bad. However it is up to you as the individual on how you respond and how you proceed with said person/people. In short people as well as you and myself have the ability to choose what type of relationship they want to have with you by the actions and verbalization they display. Once the type of relationship is established you are the person who gets to determine the weight of the relationship, the weight it has on your life, the overall health of the relationship. Do not be afraid to choose you are the one in control of remaining balanced, grounded, and centered, and believe it or not relationships have the ability to affect and effect you, what is theirs can become yours and what’s yours can become theirs,

Relationships have the strength to knock you off of your feet …

#Rooted       #Grounded       #Centered       #Balanced


Strength Lies Within The Center; Strong Apart & Even Stronger Together 

Posted in BlackPower, Family, Inner Child, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Post A Day, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Strong Black Families, Unity

My Boundaries are:___________

So for a long time I have struggled with setting up boundaries with people who I love, you know like, siblings, husband, parents, close/best friends … those types of people. Now I know you’re probably already thinking:

  1. Why do you need boundaries for people who are so close and important to you?
  2. Because they are so important and close to you shouldn’t they know your boundaries?
  3. Shouldn’t they know you so well that they know what to do and what NOT to do?

happy b.PNG

Truth be told, it’s hard for an individual to pick out their boundaries because we do not always know what we will and will not tolerate until we experience it. We can say one thing and then actually do another, the perspective changes when you’re looking from the outside in and when you’re actually looking at the inside from the outside. This boundary journey is not so easy when you have to acknowledge that:

“what you cannot handle may hurt the ones you love.”

What I mean by that is sometimes we aren’t able to tolerate things or behaviors from our loved ones, so we have to leave them be during times they need us the most. It seems bad and unloving to not be there for your loved ones but the truth is you have to keep self together for self.

How else can your love and affection have an impact on others if you don’t allot those things for yourself?

r & B

Setting up boundaries comes from a place of hurt, each and every person has experienced something in life that has caused them to say, “I will NEVER allow someone to treat me that way again, or allow people to do what they do to me again.” We become familiar with what we do and do not want once our limits have been pushed to the max. If we aren’t careful enough to pay attention to what is transpiring then it will come as a surprise when something happens to make us release the beast from within. Typically that is what happens when we are stretched thin and pushed beyond our limits/or personal boundaries. When the smoke is clear you will hear the words, “They kept messing with me/ They asked for it! I told them to stop.” That’s apparent that you knew your limit was

  1. Already crossed and you decided to not address the situation.
  2. By not addressing the crossed boundary, you suppress what you feel from the first incident.
  3. Normally it happens again and yet another time if not many times after this you suppress the feelings you had from the first encounter and now the encounters that follow.
  4. Is usually the point that you can no longer take anymore and you blow up. Which makes you look bad because now you are not who you say you are.

The point being made is when you feel as though you are about to burst you have allowed and talked yourself, even suppressed yourself beyond your boundaries.

Take a moment and imagine you are a TREE. Whatever tree you want to be…
Your feet are the roots buried deep within the ground to hold you strong, firm, and steady…
You stand short or you stand tall
You have branches as few or as many that you prefer to have.
You have leaves of whatever color, texture, and shape you like.
Feel yourself become one with the ground and the sky.
Feel the wind blow through your leaves and your branches.
Feel the vibration from the song the birds that are nestled in your heart are singing.
Now take a moment to feel and embrace the different types of weather; sunshine, rain, sleet, snow, tornadoes, hurricanes, and so much more.

The leaves are your emotions….
Which ones do you nurture and encourage to grow?
Which ones will your branches detach from and let go?


Sometimes in life we hold onto to people and things that serve us no higher purpose.
Sometimes we hold onto people and things because of the HIGHER purpose they DO serve in our lives. the root of what they do and the position they hold; amazement, happiness, joy, love, life, protection, and warmth

We have to experience storms to shake those leaves loose, because of our unwillingness to let go of them we cannot bare anymore LIFE for another leaf to grow. The ones that we usually hold onto are either pain or joy. They either hurt so bad or they feel so good we don’t want to let go.

YUP it seems scary and hard to do, but just like the different types of leaves and weather you imagined changing, people and things in life change too. When you have that great foundation, your roots planted deep beneath the soil; your greatness and the greatness you know will blossom again and will surely grow.

Bad times in life and relationships don’t mean it’s the end. It’s time to let go and allow something great and new to begin once again.