Posted in Inner Child, Mental Health, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach

Mirror Mirror On the Wall

I woke up at 2:59 a.m. thinking it was just the case of needing to use the bathroom because I drank my bedtime tea. For some reason, I could not fall asleep when I laid back down, it just wasn’t working out for me. Lying there forcing my eyes to close and ignoring the fact that I could not breathe through my nose, I decided to cover my face with the covers. I whispered to my grandparents (whom are deceased) if there’s something you need or want me to know, then please tell me in a dream. I’m much more prone to remember the details than I would lying here awake. I started saying affirmations, speaking and manifesting things into existence as I held my eyes closed waiting to just fall fast asleep.
Normally when this happens I am able to get up and write some things down. With me having the sniffles and my work alarm set, my husband sleeping. I couldn’t just get up and write like I would have preferred too. I like to think I was drifting to sleep, but my spirit tells me I wasn’t sleeping. I was in a moment of solitude and silence. I found myself  enjoying the darkness , the quietness, and the ability to just be . I heard the words very clearly in my ear, ” Do people ever look into their own souls when looking at themselves in the mirror?”  Now I know I have this question before and I have blogged about soul-searching, mirror reflections, and so much more related to this. For some reason this just won’t leave me be.“Do you see who you really are or do you see what you think you are?” “Do you see the person you’re truly meant to be?” Our eyes are said to be the gateway to our souls, the window of our souls.
I’d like to think that this is true, the secrets and the excitement, the twinkle of the eye—- never lies. How and why is it that others are able to look into the depths of our souls yet we can only scratch the surface of who we are? Why is it that it takes another soul to mirror our very own soul? Why must we see ourselves in one aspect before we are able to find the truth behind that aspect.
Why is looking in the mirror the most common way for us to see ourselves, for us to see our soul?
The mirror helps us to see the pieces we have put together on the outside, you have to take time to know that there’s more than what meets your stare as you glare in amazement of your own creation of self. There are far to many of us that are not aware that we have the ability to see more than our surface when looking into the mirror. There are more of us that aren’t aware that we do not need a mirror to see what lies behind the twinkle in our eyes. There so many of us who do not notice the glare or the twinkle in our eyes.
I encourage you to speak both the good and bad to yourself when looking at yourself in the mirror. What does this do, and why would I tell you to speak the bad things to yourself in the mirror? We’re focusing on loving who is looking back at us aren’t we?
You damn right we are!
My question to you is how do we come to a point of self acceptance and positivity if all we see is the good? Which is great but suppressing and repressing those things that we drive ourselves insane about only leads us to turmoil. It leads us to self-doubt and letting ourselves down. Pick out your bad apples in the bunch, find the reason it became a bad apple. Some of us cut the bad part off and consume the remaining pieces of the apple. While there are also those of us who just throw the whole damn thing away. Either way is fine, just have a sense of acknowledgement of the bad seeds, the rotten apples, the molded bread, the dying flowers, the weeds in your garden that are the reasons your flowers, fruits, and veggies are going bad.
Posted in Balance, BlackPower, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Patience, Positive Thinking, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused

Magickal Tears

Something is happening, and I’m not quite sure exactly what it is (I am, I just don’t share all of my secrets like that). However I can feel the magick whistle and blow in the air. When I see what I feel tears form to produce the beauty in my storm. How magickal these tears are that my mind can see the future from afar….How powerful our minds are that we can procreate and create all at once.
Manifestation…. the ability to make things happen with a little tweak of the mind…
Posted in #WOW Word Of the Week, Balance, BlackPower, Family, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Unity

Restart With A Mindful Yew/You

With the Solar Eclipse happening on Monday, we all now have the chance to start fresh, begin again. A second chance at whatever it is that we were once wishing, praying for a do over on. The solar eclipse is and was a power button, the power button to life in all forms. Humans, animals, insects, reptiles, plants, and even water, let’s include the air because it bends, flows, and moves in ways that nothing and no one can.

In a long time, a very long 99 years the earth and those who live upon it have been in constant movement. Never truly giving ourselves a moment to just “be still” and look around. It’s so intriguing how when we don’t follow the rules of self nature has a way of making us move the way self was guiding us to begin with. Sunday in Midwest region it stormed, and it stormed bad. For some it was awful, for others like myself it was so damn refreshing. It was like the earth (or at least those of us in the path of the eclipse) were getting a release cleansing right along with the very planet we occupied.

You have to be clean in order to get dirty again. You have to empty in order to fill up otherwise you’re just overflowing (that isn’t always a bad thing but in this very instance we will say it is). In order to start again you must first of course, STOP….

Thank you Solar Eclipse…. Thank you Moon and Sun for coming together to bring humanity together. Thank you universe for being the leader in all that we aspire to be and do with you, our loved ones, and our time here.

We stopped to oooo and aahhhhh, we stopped to stare in amazement because it was something we have never witnessed before. We stopped to take pictures (it makes a statement that says, “Hey I was there when this happened). We stopped to bask in the rays of the sun that beamed from behind the moon itself. We stopped to see the ring and the diamond ring that appeared just as the moon/sun begin to shift it’s way back into rotation.

We started again, and some weren’t so sure that the moon and the sun continued on it’s journey so they continued to “be still”.

When the sun begin to shine bright as it normally does, the scenery changed. At least for me it did. I saw things not just with my eye sight but with my mind’s eye and within my spirit. Scarface’s song played in my subconscious “My Angel” I remembered the lyrics, the grass looked greener and the sun brighter”. Restarting my dreams the way they should have been in the first place. Restarting my confidence and belief in myself that not only can I make it in this world. But that “I will make it in this world!”

I paused for a moment because I had to realize that every wish, dream, and manifestation that I was creating at that very moment wasn’t just about me. It was about many others around me and those around me that I don’t even know exist.

Recently I published my website, I was beyond excited. I had viewers from Albequrque New Mexico and London, ON. That was an experience I never imagined happening, so I was in shock and self praising…. I DID IT Dammit! People on the other side of the world looked at me and what I represent. They looked at what I have and what I am giving to the people of this world and what I am giving to the universe. I thought about how whatever i say and do going forward has way much more weight and value to the ears, minds, souls, and spirits it is landing on. I thought about my choices affect other’s choices because now more than ever people around the world are watching me. I thought about how my reactions and responses have more energy behind them than they recently did within my small radius of boundaries. I thought about how accepting acknowledging, and being “Okay” with the consequences of my choices and decisions weigh on others.

If, no scratch that….Since I am a leader, the leader of #SelfLove and #SelfHappiness. The leader of #FindingMe. What better way to show my growth than y teaching what has been revealed to me.

  • When you don’t include yourself it’s difficult for you to include others into what you want to do and are choosing to do.
  • When you put others before you, you’re helping them erase your existence, your needs, and wants.


How sway right?

How can you be fulfilling to someone else if you have not fulfilled yourself first? If you constantly are putting others ahead of you then you will never know what it is that you need, want, like, love, etc.


  • Being Mindful of yew(that long living tree)/you keeps you in the know of what you need for yourself in order for you to help yourself so you can help others.

Root healing


When you are aware of what you need and want within self you are better able to cater to your needs and wants. That gives you the space to better assist and be a support to others.

  • Be aware that when you are doing and caring for yourself that you are also doing for others.

When we love and take care of ourselves we are also unknowingly taking care of others. When we’re happy our loved ones are happy when something goes wrong within our being something is troubled in our loved ones being. So whatever you put in is also pushed out and that alone either takes care of others or neglects others. it’s your option to either love yourself mindfully or be selfish with your self-love and self-happiness that you push out greatness or negativity.


  •  Accept that the choices you make don’t just affect you. They affect others also because how you choose to respond and react causes a response and reaction in and out of others.


When we choose, respond, act, and react without being mindful. We forget that what we unknowingly and knowingly choose to do causes a ripple effect in others. Primarily those around us. So be sure that the choice you decide to go with isn’t what you think to be about yourself.

How will you Restart With A Mindfuil Yew/You?


Posted in #WOW Word Of the Week, LOVE, Mental Health, Patience, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused

Rejection #WOW

Speaking on knowing when and when not to give up, I came across the fact that with those options , me, you, and we all come to having to face rejection. don’t we all know that sometimes this is very far from being easy to do. It was a sparkle of light that shimmered across my face and I began to jot down notes on exactly how rejection has made me feel in my past , present, and how it could (if I give it the power to) make me feel in the future.

How do you feel when you have been rejected?

I wrote at the top of my paper inside of my #FindingMe notebook (soon will be available for purchase).

  • Let down
  • Less than
  • Unworthy
  • It was All for NOTHING

Your confidence & belief in self (sometimes others as well) drastically dissipates. You lose interest in yourself, others, and your goals. Eventually your goals begin to change in different directions that involve different people and things.

Guarded, untrusting of self and others, becoming more nonchalant.

Lesson Learned?

  1. Everything and everyone is not meant for you.
  2. Rejection is a form of failure. You may not have won the battle the way you would have liked to, but you won…. Pay attention to your marks.
  3. You very well may be worth more than the person who rejected you and the thing that wasn’t beneficial for you.
  4. Just like any other negative or positive, it is only as good or as bad as YOU make it.


  1. Forgive yourself
  2. Trust yourself to do your best again . Acknowledge and accept that no matter what you are not able to control people or things. Some rejection is good rejection(hence pay attention to your marks). You will either learn to believe in yourself or you will continue to be swiss cheese filling voids with people and things not meant for you. Those who want to control you and materialize you.
  3. Start Again!!!! Not with the same person/thing (unless there’s a winning chance, fool me once shame on you. Fool me two times shame on me! Fool me three times shame on both of us).
  4. Where did you grow through all of this?

With rejection you have control it and not let it control you. Rejection can cause damage in so many forms and fashions. What matters most is that you not only bounce back but you become wise in your learning and growing.Learn what needed to be learned, do NOT do that again, and grow from there.

You have The Key When one door closes another one opens you have the power to choose how these doors operate….

Encouragement piece:

Prelude to a Parting

By: Maya Angelou

Beside you, prone,

my naked skin finds

fault in touching .

Yet it is you

who draws away.

The tacit fact is,

the awful fear of losing

is not enough to cause a fleeing love

to stay.

Posted in #WOW Word Of the Week, Balance, Inner Child, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Positive Thinking, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Stay Focused

Game Over

Give Up

Outlet for my cries outlet for my anger.
Sometimes these feelings put me in danger….
Of my self because I’m so use to dancing in the rain….
I’m tired of hiding my pain.
I just want to release
I just want to let go
I promised you & myself hurting me is something I wouldn’t do any more!
This skin you’ve given me is very tough to verbal abuse; Only tender to his caressing touch.
The mind you carefully created, nurtured, and coached into growth
How can anyone expect me to corrupt my oath?
I’m set for self-destruction if it ever comes to any thing or any one halting your mass production.
This doesn’t mean I’m a possible suicide…it just means that it’s only in you my everything resides.
Count down starting from 10…(inhale) 9, 8, 7,…
3, 2, 1…. 0 Exhale…It’s amazing how we find the strength to weather the storms coming over and over again.

Shantay S. McKennie


This was me maybe 5 years ago. Feeling as though I was tired, more than sick and tired of everything and everyone. I needed and wanted it to just be me, with me, by me, for me, nothing and no one else. Man I am more than glad those days are gone.

I wanted to talk about giving up to focus on some key points of giving up and how we NEVER focus on self when it comes to giving up. We are always focused on other things and people but never self.  So……

“When do we know it’s time to call it quits?”

Sometimes we do and sometimes we don’t but what we do know is at that very moment we feel and want to give up more than we want to focus on anything or anyone else. Here are four signs of wanting to give up

  1. Feeling like we aren’t making any progress.
  2. feeling like and actually giving out more than we are receiving.
  3. Feeling like and actually running out of options and ideas of how to press forward.
  4. You have lost love, happiness, support and interest in said person or thing….

All of these are signs that you are wanting and feeling like it is time to call it quits, GAME OVER.

Now I have four questions for you to contemplate on, let them marinate before you read any further. Maybe even jot down your answers as they come to mind (you can always go back and revise them, it isn’t set in stone even if you did write it down).

  1. Can you/Are you able/capable of going without said person or thing?
  2. Will there be less stress, a sense of release, or will there be a sense of loss/failure as though you haven’t given your all. Like there is more you can do?
  3. What would your life be like without that person or thing?
  4. How bad do you want it? What was the very “first” reason for your WHY?
 Time to sit and think because nature helps all of our troubles flow away…. Give Up/Game Over?

This is a bittersweet moment because sometimes the answer to all of the questions above are reasons for you to give up, pull the chord, Call It Quits…. Game Over. There are also times when the answer to the questions above are so empowering that the only option you leave yourself is to press forward and make it to the top. Then of course there are the times when you have a good and a bad reason for them all, that catch 22. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

These are all normal and expected feelings, it’s also very normal to feel stuck in between the good and the bad. You become the body in the middle balancing the good and the bad. Confused and stressing trying to figure out your options. Considering that we all are aware of these things, let’s focus on what we are able to do to counter act and set the record straight.

  1. Remove yourself (mentally) from the thing or person that you want to give up on. This puts you in a position to focus on something other than what is driving you insane.
  2.  Channel your focus onto something other than what is making you want to give up. When we stop focusing on one thing we tend to come to a solution with the problem we were so dedicated on figuring out in the beginning. Consider it like losing something. As long as you are looking for it you will never find it, once you stop looking it’s right there in front of you *Hidden in plan sight*
  3. Give yourself a pat on the back. Hardly ever and more like never do we give ourselves credit for the things w have accomplished. We focus more on what is wrong and what has went wrong versus what all we have done up until now…. The point we feel like giving up.
  4. SHARE YOUR STORY/ACCOMPLISHMENTS…. This one is my favorite because each and every time you share your story
    (please don’t annoy people and make this the topic of discussion every chance you get). When you share your story you begin to see and “hear” what all you actually have done. This will give you the push and encouragement that you need, want and are looking for to make that decision to give up or actually insert another $0.25 to continue the game you may still be in love with.

Bonus: YESS!!!!

Some people and things are not meant for us to have, hold, keep, or even cherish. Most times those are the ones we fight so hard for. Ultimately it is your options and primarily your decision that matters. Not anyone else’s. Others can help you if you would like for them to help you figure it out. No one and I do mean no one can or should make you choose what’s best in love and happiness for you.


We do not fight enough for the things and people that are meant for us and that primarily includes self….

Insert Coin To Continue To Play

Posted in BlackPower, Family, Inner Child, Mental Health, Patience, Poetry Slam, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Strong Black Families, Unity

Fool is As Fool Does

When you have some anger, hurt, pain, abandonment, and hatred tied to your father, how do you or would you expect for your children not to have those same affections towards you? When all you’ve expressed to them are those emotions. You’ve taught them to love you as you love your father, where and why should there be an exception?

These are the questions I asked myself the weekend leading into April Fools Day…

I asked myself these questions because I so desperately wanted to express those thoughts and feelings to my father, OUR father… Shaking My Damn Head….

This was the first time in history that all of my father’s known children graced his presence at once. You would imagine and think that this would be a glorious moment not just for him but his children as well. It turned out to be what my sister labeled a “shit show.” Showing favoritism, and abandonment in its truest form. I never expected my father would show his true colors in such a degrading way. I could go on and on about how not just I was hurt by him this weekend. But how all of us leading down to his grandchildren were also hurt by this weekend. Exactly how much good will that do? More than likely NONE, absolutely positively NONE. 

So let me allow this to dwindle into the learning and growing parts of this trip. My intentions were to make peace and in making peace that entailed me making peace in the way I wanted it to be not the way it was intended for me to find my own peace with not just my father, but my children’s father. That peace was necessary because my children needed to see and know that regardless to the bullshit, their parents could get along and have a good time for their sake, forget our sake. Well to say the least their father and I did have peace and I hit some of his buttons as the peace was being made. It was nice to be around him and us not argue and fight. To not be worried if he would knock the hell out of me, (or as I use to worry more about in my past with him,) our children seeing him abuse me and talk to me in demeaning ways and being so flippancy with his choice of words. I was happy that things went well in that relationship, I enjoyed seeing my children smile from that. Having a feeling of security within their parents and our behavior/respect towards each other. One of the greatest foundations to bestart building.

Now my father I cannot say the same about him. There were things that were said and things that were done that I may never ever be able to help my children heal from. I’m okay with them healing on their own at their own pace as long as they heal. The moral of this aspect is I realized as the comments and statements were made that my father still held hatred and hurt. There was still pain, and disappointment in his heart for his father, just like us. His very own three children had in their hearts for him. He was angry with him for all the wrong things his father did. Unable to appreciate the small moments his father was there for him. I realized that as much as my father pretended to forget things and act as though he had grown past those things, he truly had not. He missed his mother but was too hurt to acknowledge that he wished he knew more about her and had a better bond with her. I kind of got the feeling that he wished his mother was around to save him from the things he “says” his father did to him. What’s so obvious about all of this is knowing that my grandfather spoke of his father mistreating and abusing him. With the wisdom of our elders, you would think he would say and do the opposite to his own children. His own 11-18 children. It’s intriguing yet sad how the things we say and do, our behaviors seem to trickle down genetically. We begin to wonder where the act of foolishness comes from but we never turn in. We never turn in to look to self and accept that it is within our being, and our DNA. The blow that hit me the most is my father could not comprehend that he too was doing the same things his father had done to him and his grandfather had done to his father. Genetically we all were each other, we all were one ….

I was blocking accepting that I would become this very same person inside of myself. Holding back tears, pain, and so much more.

Fighting the moments of me wanting to just lash out with anger, I held it all inside of me to not become that person inside of me.

My father is not the healthiest man in the world nor is he the sickest man in the world. I’m just willing to take in that one day he will not be here. I do not want my last days living as an adult like himself, to be spent the way he is spending his. Looking at a picture of his father (that he claims he does not want in his house) and still having no love for the man who helped give him life. I do not want to be living in the turmoil of hurt.  Wishing I had a better bond with my parents on any level, when they are right here right now. I may not be able to get the relationship and bond that I want, but I am able to get something from them. What I am able to get, give, and receive is time, forgiveness, moments (no matter how big or small) of happiness, and just actually “knowing” my parents for who they are and what they represented. Their gift to their loved ones, life, and the world we live in.

I walked away with some bumps and bruises, and I’ll take those any day over scars and wounds that need more than just time to heal. 

I wanted to add “Maya Angelou’s Poem:  Mourning Grace” just to shed some light on the things we blame others for, they are  truly a part of us. If it weren’t a part of who we are then how are we able to identify it in others? How can we ask something of our children we are not willing to give our parents? Reflection is such an important niche to have. To me it is one of the key things that can help us pick up on what we need to address within self before we think about turning a finger on someone else.

Mourning Grace                                 By: Maya Angelou

If today I follow death, 

go down it’s trackless wastes, 

salt my tongue on hardened tears 

for my precious dear time’s waste 


along that promised cave in a headlong



Will you 




to mourn for


“Love with grace while they are alive and you can love them with peace when they are gone.”


Posted in #WOW Word Of the Week, Balance, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Patience, Positive Thinking, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused

Anger’s Energy & Power #WOW

On a regular basis we are nose breath to heart beat with anger. Out of sheer self-misunderstanding we focus on our anger disregarding what caused us to be angered in the beginning. I was approached by a special person who will be a special guess on the Facebook Live Word Of the Week. I was asked could this person talk about anger on my next video. It inspired me to reach the darkest corners of angers home.

What is the damage that anger causes to our bodies?

*Stress                                              * Affects the liver

* Disturbs the heart                      * Lose feeling waist down

Anger also causes us more sorrow, apologies, loss of loved ones and freedom, and financial debts.

Instead of addressing the anger alone we have to first admit that we are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually affected by “hurt.” This is what causes anger to brew in us all. We give ourselves a higher option to project our anger from being hurt in a more effective way by settling the dust inside of self. Meaning what are you really bothered by/with that is causing your anger to swell?

Once we gain control of our hurts, pains, sorrows, etc. Our negative feelings and lower vibrations we  become more equipped with our physical being. We have now taken the control back over our emotions, mental, and spiritual powers.

How to release the beast within:

  1. Let It Out… In a healthy of course #TTfM & #TTfW exists for this very reason. Adults do not get to whine and cry, stomp, kick, jump, and basically throw a tantrum. If you are not aware of this in the #FindingMe universe now you are. Other things you can do is speak/vent with family, friends, counselors, and therapists. This is what a support system entails. Just be sure to sometimes expect feedback or a solution to what you have allowed to anger you. 
  2. Cool/Cold Water/Towels…. It works far better than you can imagine. When I first learned of this I begged to differ it myself. I was proven wrong by taking a sip of that yummy water LOL. 
  3. Breathe and a think to yourself…. does it/are they really deserve your attention and is it worth your energy and time in this manner or at all for that matter!? 
  4. What are your consequences, what will be the outcome of you responding and reacting in a vulgar, aggressive, and angry way? Will you end up with financial issues, will you end up apologizing, regretting what you said and/or did once you obtain your sense of clarity again….


If you are NOT in the wrong and you did nothing wrong, you don’t have anything to prove. So why be angry, why fight? Why are you defending yourself? What are you looking to prove besides you are NOT wrong and you did nothing wrong? 

Let’s talk about this so you can be better than you were the last time some one pissed you off. Also don’t miss out on the special guest appearance on Facebook Live:

Facebook Live 8:08 p.m.


Posted in #WOW Word Of the Week, Balance, BlackPower, Family, Inner Child, LOVE, Mental Health, Mindfulness, OneLove, Patience, Positive Thinking, Post A Day, Relationships, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Stay Focused, Unity

Difficult Self(Root)-Healing?

Our memories,

Our memories are tied to our feelings at the time of the event. If we were in a place that made us feel afraid then whatever happened at that place is tied to fear. If we were happy during the moment then we relate the memory to happiness. If we experienced a traumatizing moment then our memories are tied to specific things that we focused on in that time of being traumatized.


  1. Pull up those roots
  2. detox; cleanse your wound
  3. Nurture; tend to your wounds and spirit.
  4. Set up boundaries

Bonus: Find your growth from the pain. Do not allow it to be the reason you don’t live your life with inner peace, self happiness, and self love. 

We are going to get more than just mental, spiritual, and emotional, let’s include some physical work with this. Think of yourself as a plant, flower, or something that grows with tender love and care. What does your spirit resonate with well? What speaks to you and syncs with your being?

Find your roots of pain and imagine yourself ripping them out of yourself! Don’t be afraid of the pain you’re already experiencing it. You’ve been experiencing it, and you’ve been holding onto it for how long!? It isn’t an easy task to identify the pain within us at times, because it isn’t like we always know the pain exists. When you find it no matter what the case may be rip those roots of hurt, anger, and pan out of you. Create the space for the wound to do what it will naturally do best. HEAL

Detox, cleanse, purge I mean literally let go of the things that plague your mind, body, soul, and spirit. At some point you have a choice to accept that your pain will only stay there because of you not letting go of it. Darkness can only be present when your light refuses to shine. When you refuse to shine. Do not put anything or anyone in this space that you have opened up. You need to allow yourself to be clear and cleansed of your dis-ease.

Nurture your wound(s) give yourself some me time. Love yourself the best way you are able to love yourself and the way you wish others would have loved you. The way you trusted, expected, and depended on them to love you. If you wished your parents loved you more love yourself in those ways. If you wish your siblings would have done more sibling bonding type of things. Then bond with yourself int hose ways and fashions. There are times when we begin our healing process that we aren’t capable of putting out that type of love for ourselves to ourselves. This is okay it comes with time, patients, and compassion. There are people out there that want to love us in the ways we want, need, and deserve to be loved. The way we wanted those other people to love us. These are the people we call our second moms and dads, our best friends that become like a sister/brother to us. These people will love you unconditionally, you just have to allow them to and you also have to allow yourself to love yourself unconditionally as well. do not abuse these people’s types of love either. It isn’t always easy to love others during a healing process. there are ups, downs, turn arounds, and so much more. Just be willing wot work on the relationship with each other and give each other the space and time needed to help your relationship grow.

Setting up boundaries are largely confused with having walls within us that keep people from ever entering into our realms. Walls are just that different, you have to tear them down, access windows, doors, and maybe even keys in order to get into the lives of those people who have these walls in their beings. Boundaries are different, they give the space necessary to see, respond, react, and more importantly trust yourself with allowing people to come closer. Imagine standing inside of a circle however big or small is completely up to you. However big or small determines a lot of what you will and will not tolerate. Once you have established these boundaries if it makes matters better write them down and hang them up in a place where you are reminded of your own boundaries and others see them to. It builds respect for self and others as well as them building more respect for you.

Grow through it and Grow OUT OF IT!!!! You are not your experiences and you are not your pain, it does not define you. That is not who you are meant to be, it was only meant for you to learn and grow from. 

Back to the item of growth be it plant, flower, food, or another thing that grows with your help. I want you to remember these things:

  • Some plants/flowers require more work to help them stay alive than others do. Some do not require much work at all. Once you resonate and sync yourself with this plant/flower/thing I want you to journal how it feels to cater to something so needy, tedious, or independent. Which one are you?
  • If you do not care for your plant/flower/thing you have allowed it to die. you have allowed your healing process to die as well.
  • congratulate yourself and be happy that you have at least began the process of healing. It isn’t an easy thing, it feels good, and the most important thing I want you to take from this is It takes time to get to the other side that you really want to be at. The finish line is there just focus on your progress of staying in the race.

I’m happy that you found a new place to plant the seeds of love and light inside of the dark spots of your mind, body, spirit, and soul.

You Can Heal

Live Tonight @ 8:08 p.m.


Posted in Balance, BlackPower, Family, Mental Health, Patience, Positive Thinking, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love

I Am Accomplishments

Dear Me,

Yup, we’re are back to March and possibly even the beginning of this year. You’ve been working so hard and you never took the time to stop and acknowledge all that you have accomplished. Yes, I know some things you left on the back burner because the dust hasn’t quite settled so your focus isn’t as clear as YOU want it to be. You are still able to see. Stop holding yourself back from releasing and being free. Ughhhhh! Right now this seems so hard to do. I never imagined coming to this point in life ever. What the hell is wrong with me!?

That’s the question that keeps jogging through my mind. Yes even the coach has to stop and re-asses the next play.

At a point where I have to decide if I need to push or pull. Figuring out what and who needs the push, (obviously me) and what or who needs the pull (again obviously me). The skill of balancing self on the inner and outer being requires precision, strategy, logical thinking, and the ability to remain at peace with self, everyone else, and everything going on around you.  Taking the negative and allowing it to put in a position of growth. Embracing the positive and letting it be the reminder of how humble we must remain. It’s the gratuity that gives the blessings to appreciate where we are in life and how we must be grateful of the current position before we are able to level up to the desired position. With all do respect I want to share a moment of insecurity that has finally brought itself to a head.

The other night I was preparing myself mentally and spiritually for a major event. A once in a lifetime type of event. As I showered I burned a few candles, my zodiac candle for me and a candle for the world (once in a lifetime type of event). I had to be ready to face the world, which means I also had to face me. As I cleansed and washed more than my dirt from the day away. My mind began to wonder into the future and my past was there to make me acknowledge what was holding me back.

A few years back I worked in a urology office. I felt proud of myself. I was living out my career dreams and helping people. I stood by their side as they went through surgeries and procedures. I held the hands of people who feared the pain and discomfort, they feared the results of tests. I was there to reassure them that even on the worst day possible you can still smile. You would imagine that this would be a great thing to do and a great aspect of performance in the medical field. How quickly I realized that even the most caring person was not the best person. At least not to everyone is this a great quality to posses. There was one doctor in particular, no matter what I did it was never enough. No matter how hard I worked, and abandoned my children, my family. I still was a horrible medical assistant. To make a long story short word wrestling was our version of fist fighting. For me he didn’t appreciate me asking for help and surprisingly no one in the entire building knew how to operate the machine that he invented. Needless to say this turned into me getting fired from my position. I was more than okay with this. I’m a family person and I felt lower than low for leaving my children standing out in the cold. Not cooking dinner on many nights because I was reviewing notes and mocking the way the doctors worked in the hopes of coming out from being under the radar. What hit me and hurt me the most is what he said:

“You’re a great person and you have a great heart but you’re a horrible MA.” “You will never be good enough no matter what you do.” 

Of course my response was: “Nothing and no one is ever good enough for you Dr. Noogey” (not his real name for identity purposes). As I showered and I faced my reality I accepted that for a long time I held onto that comment he made about me. I let it become me and define me. I allowed it to be the fear of not being good enough for myself, for my family, my husband, my business, my everything and that included my once in  a lifetime type of event.


I never would have imagined the torture I allowed myself to hold onto would imprison my being and my gift to this world. It’s been a long time coming but change always comes whether we like it or not. This is my change and the change I’m sharing with you all. This entry was meant to happen a few weeks back. At this point maybe a month back. The goal was to acknowledge our accomplishments and write down what has been done in an effort to balance out what hasn’t been done yet. I’m using this platform of listing my accomplishments to yes of course “pull” back my self-esteem. Yes, I am good enough and I am more than good enough to deliver my gift to the world. To “push” out the negativity and hone in on the positivity.

I am my gift and my gift is me. My gift makes me good enough beyond the seed of self-doubt I allowed to be planted within me.

With me pulling up the roots of this plant or weed for lack of a better term. I still have work to do. I have soil that needs shifting and nurturing to. I have an open slot in my garden of self to plant something new.

Let’s take a moment to VIEW all that you have done versus all that you have exhausted yourself in not doing.

Within this year alone, I have

  • Grown through my personal career
  • Grown through my pain and experiences
  • I have launched my Business page on social media
  • I stepped into a powerful movement for women
  • I created my own pens and notebooks for the FindingMe Family
  • I mustred up the confidence to get some business cards
  • I walk in grace and humbleness
  • I embraced me in ways I have never known to embrace self

These are just some of the things I DID.

The point in conclusion is we do not give ourselves half the amount of credit for the things we actually see through. We look to others for recognition and appreciation. WE accept and for some odd reason can only acknowledge the positivity from others instead self. Our greatest appreciation shouldn’t be because someone else said we did it, it should be because we KNOW WE DID IT.

This time and for all of the next times I Know I Am Enough, I Am More Than Enough….


Posted in Balance, Mindfulness, Patience, Self Growth, Self Help, Self Love, Spiritual Life Coach, Unity

Now Is NOT the Time To LET GO!!!!

GRAND Shining!
So the saying is sharing is caring! BUT that means you care about others, so when you share do you care about yourself also? Me I say if you sometimes be selfish you learn how to say no to those who need to hear it! How else will you learn to care for self? You only have 1 heart and 1 soul why ruin it for someone who doesn’t care for them self?
Love you and it’ll be easier to help others. I love your shining spirits, you’re worth more than you value yourself to be 

I found this post as a memory not to long ago. It tapped on the things I was feeling, and the things I had grown from. What seem to have gotten to me the most was “sharing is caring.” For all those that know me and are growing to know me, they know I am always sharing and caring. It boggled my mind when I realized that others share for attention or for their own personal gain. I don’t think that is necessarily bad. To a degree it is because there are times in life where we all need that acknowledge. We all want and crave the credit/acknowledgement of our hard work and efforts.


Yup I was apart of this recently and I had to come to terms that not everyone will give you that credit because some, some do want it for themselves just like I do. By all means they will get it, even if that means removing the person they got it from. I expressed my moments of anguish and pain, of being used and abused. I expressed my moment of letting go and wanting to give up my creations. Find another avenue…. One just for me. How fast I realized that there is no need to go searching for something new. I had to face myself and accept that me, my light. It shines bright and if I’ve done nothing but push someone to shine like me, then I have opened up a gateway within them they never knew existed. I opened up the light of ambition that lies inside of them.  I recently learned (from being a life coach) that,

“If the student’s goal is to master the teacher, then do not work with them.”

~Lisa Nichols

It took a moment for it to sink in and for me to truly grasp the meaning behind the message. What I learned from that is the student isn’t searching to become them, they are searching and learning to become YOU!!!!! Another thing that came across my path was giving 100% your all. Now long before and if I do recollect myself correctly I stated that I too use to feel as though the best way to love is by giving your all. With the message above and the experience behind it, I will say it again: Do not give all of yourself out. Now you may let your cup run over with love but never and I do mean never empty yourself/your cup out to any individual and or the world. You can and will be remembered and yes you can be duplicated. Only YOU can and will remain the true version of YOU. But if all of you is out and about in the world and with other individual people then what’s left of you to be true? 

I’ll leave you with this to manifest on:

No matter what trouble or person comes flying your way, you have to remind yourself that your crown/your light/your energy can and will be something other people work to take from you. You will be to much for some people. Sometimes you can outdo yourself (which by the way amazes me when I do outdo myself). No matter what type of people you allow life to push your way. I want you to remember to NEVER LET GO OF BEING YOU. Just because someone wants to be you, shine like you, look like you, act like you, speak like you and so much more LIKE YOU. NONE of that means you should let go of yourself, your ideas, your creations, and yes your ability to share and give unselfishly. Do not dim your light, or still the waters that flow inside of you.

Be you and be the greatest you can be at being you because only YOU ARE YOU and only YOU CAN BE YOU. No matter how hard they try or the sacrifices they make. Cut the ties, pull up the roots that you have allowed them to grow from within you.

Give yourself the permission and the freedom to be you in ways you were never you before.

Don’t Let Go Of You 

For those of you out here stealing others love, light, energy, creations, and the works of others…. Stop being afraid of who you are and shine your own light.

Think of it in this manner:

If you are capable of mocking others then how capable are you of mocking you?